You Better Stay On Her Good Side!

"Dad I'm gonna cut off your head and put it in the Diaper Champ,
and put your body and your hands and feet in the garbage can!"

Is It Okay...?

Kid Furious comes into the living room and announces "My chart is almost filled with stickers!" (referring to a behavior chart we've been using at bedtime)
"Great" Mrs Furious naively replys
Kid continues "Is it okay if once at night I stole some stickers?"
"And put them on?" Mrs Furious hesitantly asks
"And put them on" Kid Furious confirms with a mischievous nod and stiffled laugh
Mrs Furious begins to laugh hysterically... so much for maintaining a sense of authority

Name Calling

"Hey Dad..... Mom is a Jack Ass Freak"

Just a wee bit evil